Hello…is this thing on?
“Be yourself; Everyone else is already bacon.”— Oscar Wilde, probably.
Hello ladies and gents. I have NO idea what I’m doing. Like, at all. So. This ought to be fun. I decided to create this blog to document the start of my journey to becoming a professional dominatrix.
Professional dominatrix, you say? Well…yes. I’ve never been one to adhere to societal norms. After all, I already have a full back piece tattooed (I’m working on saving up for a chest piece as well), I have a septum piercing, I have apprenticed at a tattoo parlor, I have studied law, I draw/burn original artwork into wood for fun, I have interpreted languages at the collegiate level, and I am a lady boss at my vanilla day job. So, why not give this pro domme BDSM thing a go too, huh? (Not to mention that my loving spouse of 8 years is also incredibly supportive.)
It all started a week ago, while I was perusing my social media feed in one of the groups I am a part of. A woman was discussing her job as a dominatrix and how she provides for her family by dominating other people and catering to their kinks in a safe and supportive environment. I was immediately enthralled. I mean, this was a job I had only heard stories about, and here was a real, living, breathing super woman not only DOING it, but killing it to the point where she was in escrow on a new house with spouse and baby in tow. I suddenly HAD to know all there was to know on the subject. Being the nerd I am, I began googling all night long. Like, to the point where I didn’t get any sleep and went to work like a zombie. I had butterflies in my stomach and thoughts zipping across my closed eyelids like shooting stars. I was hooked.
Since then, I’ve set up a profile on findoms.com (https://findoms.com/index.php/Madomme_Delia/), a Twitter account (https://twitter.com/MadommeDelia ), and a HePays account (https://www.hepays.com/MadommeDelia). HePays is a dating site that has been cited by several pro dommes as a great place for entrepreneurial women to meet with wealthy men who enjoy financial domination (AKA “pay pigs”). HePays is also helpful for women looking for “sugar daddies”. I myself find it particularly useful in that they literally pay you for the exposure your profile brings to the site itself. The amount they pay is nothing crazy to start, but being able to track how people view my profile based off of where I share the link has been very helpful for how I track the way I market myself. I can see why so many dommes appreciate this tool in their self-promotion.
I’ve had subs begin to message me, already addressing me as “goddess” or “mistress” on multiple platforms. I felt warm tingles to my core while reading their messages- even though a few were obviously spam bots (but NICE spam bots). I took my time experimenting with responses- running the gambit from warm and polite to domineering and demanding…and managed to scare them all away- POOF!
Haha, good job, me. *sigh*
Maybe I should become a career magician instead.
Anyways, I’m currently alternating between wavering in my decision and wondering if I’m not some crazy imposter that should just give it up already, or getting excited all over again and ready to dive back in, head first (complete with concussion from not looking before I lept). I know that being a dominatrix could be very right for me. I keep trying to remind the insecure Delia in my brain that it is really just a matter of learning the ropes (bondage pun intended). I just need more confidence. More practice. More subs who can be patient with a wimpy domme. More empowerment of the self.
Truly, that’s a huge part of why this lifestyle appeals to me so much. I grew up in a household with an emotionally and verbally abusive father, and endured the subsequent token abusive romances as a result of my own emotional immaturity and codependency. I was a door mat for so very long that I still find myself getting ready to lay down at people’s feet to be walked on. Then I catch myself falling into those old thought patterns and behaviors and go, “Wait a minute. No no no no no no. What the fuck am I doing?! FUCK this shit and FUCK the person(s) that made me feel like I need to do this.” Then I stand up, brush off that shame dirt, and kick the fucker’s knees in. You know, metaphorically.
I tend to subconsciously surrender power in so much of my every day life that just the thought of becoming a dominatrix has helped me to become more aware of the power I should have been retaining all along. I walk with my shoulders back now, I make eye contact and smile only when I feel like it. I stopped saying “I’m sorry” reflexively and instead say what I really wanted to say all along: “Thank you for waiting on me even though I was late”, or “Pardon, I didn’t hear that”, or etc. I stopped saying “No, thank YOU”, and have started saying, “You’re welcome”, or “Of course”. I’ve started to notice the people around me who would be potential subs in their own private lives. I started to notice and appreciate the things about myself that I used to downplay or even berate myself for. I have naturally lovely red hair. My green eyes make grown men stutter when I train them on them. I have a sexy walk when I sway my hips. My hour glass figure is something to enjoy and not hide beneath bulky clothes. This body is lovely not DESPITE having intensive surgery and giving birth, but BECAUSE of it. I’ve survived emotional and physical pain that most people shy away just at the thought of- and that deserves some fucking validation. Delia, you’re fucking bomb, dude.
And regaining this power, this confidence, this knowledge that I am perfect- this is what I can bring to any subs who would want to begin a D/s relationship with me. I want to break them down (within their kinks and within the parameters that we set together) so that I can build them up. I want to provide support and aftercare and genuine sparkling conversation. I want to connect on the deeper level of two humans actually understanding each other with no inhibitions or judgement to get in the way. I want to feel the thrum of energy between us. I want to make the world a brighter place by allowing people who may feel ostracized by their differences or oddities normally know that they are not alone and they are worthy of care and support.
But first I have to stop scaring away all those subs.
Anyways, this is the first post on this spankin’ new blog. I’m just getting this going, obviously, so if you happen to be entertained by my crazy rants, stay tuned for more. Get another cup of coffee or tea or cocoa. Read on to my newer posts, and subscribe below to get notified when I post new updates.
Thank you for reading. ❤